Blue and Green Should Never be Seen! (Or so Mother says) by Colette Kebell

Author:Colette Kebell [Kebell, Colette]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skittish Endeavours
Published: 2014-12-24T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 24

I woke up and my mouth felt like the bottom of a budgie’s cage. And I had the mother of all headaches. That’s what happens when you go to a painting party; we started, at some point, just drinking some beers and then, not to disappoint the other guests, we also went into full swing tasting each other’s wine. Mine was a Custoza sourced from my Italian neighbours directly from a vineyard near Mantua that belonged to their parents.

Oh dear, I also had jelly legs, as if I’d run a marathon, and I was still in my clothes. I looked around and nobody was there; of course, it was almost ten in the morning and I was sure the others were already painting. They might have finished the house by now. What a shame. I crawled to the bathroom and had a cold shower, and when I say cold I mean cold: pieces of ice were falling from the shower rose.

I felt a bit better but not much. Worst of all, I started having flashbacks from the previous evening. Sheepishly, I went downstairs and into the kitchen where, fortunately, other people were still assembled, finishing their breakfast.

“GOOD MORNING, SLEEPY HEAD!” said Lillian, with a voice that sounded to me like thunder and, for a moment, I thought she’d swallowed a megaphone (I doubt that anyone reading this has never felt the same way, at least once in their life).

“G’morning,” I heard my mouth saying. “Coffee?”

“UP THERE: THERE’S A FRESH BATCH.”

“Could you please stop shouting? I think the aliens took me and implanted bionic ears. I could hear a fly breathing.”

“Sure, although rumour has it you can get the same effect after a bottle of Tequila. I never tried, but you should know.”

In the meantime, other people came around to say hello, including gorgeous Raffaele.

“Hey, GiGi, we’ve prepared your declaration of independence,” said Tom, showing me a piece of wallpaper with the back finely written on.

“The … what …?”

“The declaration of independence from ugly clothes. You mentioned it yesterday evening, so we thought of capturing your fine words, and then they won’t be lost to the planet.”

I started remembering. At some point I had an image in my mind of myself, standing on the lounge table and talking about how I would save the world from bad clothing, and the right of the individual to enhance their looks. Plus some other items that, at that point, were still quite foggy.

“We also have a video, but we decided not to post it on YouTube yet. We thought the declaration would make things more formal if it were in writing. Here: it’s signed by everybody.” Tom handed me my own version of the Magna Carta, I could see the signatures of all the guests at the bottom. Someone had also taken the time to depict a coat of armour, a shield; on one side there was a woman in a coat (?!) brandishing a lipstick, on the other side there were some accessories arranged as a sort of bear-like animal.

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